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Schadenfreude Concerto No. 1

This one’s dedicated to D. Wade for giving us this gem following yet another loss to the scrappy Chicago Bulls:

“The Miami Heat are exactly what everyone wanted, losing games…the world is better now because the Heat are losing.” – Wade

Forgive the cacophony of my violin, it’s not that I’m ironically playing bad – nothing to do with the Heat’s inability to close out games, I assure you.  It’s just that I’m not often moved to play such morose melodies of victim-hood for divas of Wade’s caliber, so I may sound out of tune.

It’s in D Major if you don’t recognize it – as in D. Rose:  the kid Wade and his Super”friends” spurned during the summer of 2010 so that they could all take their talents to South Beach and live a fairy-tale manage-a-trois of sleep overs, partying, doing each others’ nails and easy championships.

I was partly glad by that move, it meant that I wouldn’t have root for someone I had grown to sports-hate:  Lebron James, a self-proclaimed monarch without rings; nor would I have to root for someone who very strongly resembles a female version of Snoop Dogg (C Bosh).

I did, however, believe in DW3 – I even called him the closest thing to The Truth (#23) based on sheer athleticism, elegance of play & competitive edge (sorry Kobe).  What a great story it would have made for two home grown talents to bring back glory to the city of Chicago – it could have easily made for one of the best back courts of all time (Wade + Rose!).

Instead of glory & community, Lebron & Wade chose easy-wins & notoriety.  The whole thing played out like a scene out of Mean Girls.  Their “hotness” couldn’t make up for what they had orchestrated:  a devaluation of competitiveness by stacking a team in a way that most other franchises can’t.  A luxury of choice for 2 incredible talents & 1 so-so guy, but a disappointment in the eyes of NBA fans, as well as a catastrophic blow to the psyche & economy of Cleveland.  In real terms that people feel, the ripples created by the betrayal of a community were felt by jobs & revenue loss to a Midwestern city who doesn’t have much going for itself…where was Wade’s rhetoric about the world being a better place then?

And yet today we supposed to feel sorry for the black hole of ego-centrism because their fetish fantasy isn’t panning out as expected?  Forgive us for not empathizing with your pre-pubescent hormones when they act up in ways your fragile sensitivities are not accustomed to.

A statement of douchebag proportions if I ever heard one.

Instead of tweeting & crying maybe they should try manning up like Derrick Rose.  Take an example from the kid who took on two future hall-of-famers today, while at the same time carrying an entire city on his shoulders.  A city with a shadow larger than life…a shadow that has eclipsed every super-star ever dubbed “the next MJ” (including LbJ & Wade).  A powerful comparison that perhaps worked to dissuade them from stepping foot in Chicago in the summer of 2010; it was much easier to become legendary in another city and not have to carry the burden of true excellence in a city all too familiar with greatness.

Today it became apparent that the humble, hometown kid that Chicago was waiting for all along wasn’t Wade, but Rose.  A youngster who has distinguished himself as an incredible leader, and who single-handedly managed to spark a fire for any Chicago Bulls fan by instilling pride & commitment to a team while at the same time displaying a palette of raw athleticism, power and talent that commands and deserves ooohs and aaahs every night.

This melody is running long, and the arm of irony is weakening.

Though the world isn’t a better place because the Heat lost, it did bring a lot of smiles to many towns across America.

Thank you, Heatles.  See you in the play-offs.

Published inOpinion

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